i lost my friend

by chothani hina d.
(katargam,surat,gujarat,India)

In year 2008 my friend whose name was also HINA PATEL and I were best friends. She was so sensitive. I loved her very much. I went to a singing competition and while returning from Vadodara the next day it was my birthday.I was very happy. But unfortunatly I was still waiting for her, but she was not coming. I was very sad. My eyes were full of tears. I did not control myself.A fter 4 years I learned that she had died in an accident. So I always say that my life starts with me and ends with me, because I am alone ...forever..forever...forever...............forever....please someone help me.(if you have time).

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Jun 24, 2015
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by: Leena

I found an old email from my trash folder stating, that the picture attached to this post had been posted by the writer without permission. (Took me a while to find the correct page the email was referring to, as there was no link to the page the writer of the email was talking about).

This is why I have removed it from this post. Please be certain you are allowed to post a photo of someone before you do so.

Aug 29, 2011
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Hi, Hina!
by: Leena

Are you perhaps the same Hina who wrote before about being sad? If so, I wrote a little answer to you in the past.

But about losing dear frieds.... There is nothing we can do to bring them back physically, but you could try to remember all the good things you did together - and concentrate on those thoughts. Maybe write a little stories about all the fun you had together - without ending those stories in telling how you lost her. Just write about the good stuff like you were writing a happy story to cheer someone up.

Now I know this may feel a bit harsh, but if you keep on concentrating on the loss of your friend, and constantly grieving about her, you close yourself from other friendships waiting to come to your life.

You need to let go of the sadness of what happened four years ago and move along. Maybe if you did a little remembrance-ritual about your friend Hina, and say a few prayers for her - and trust she is still with you, even though you cannot see her anymore. Let her go, and move along in your life.

And then, when ever you feel sadness when you think of her, acknowledge it, but then turn your look into the future. See the nice people around you, talk with them, pay attention to them. Because if you keep on grieving for a lost friend, you may push friendly people away from your without realizing it.

Life is full of wonderful friends - you just have to see them.

I have lost many wonderful people in my life, and the sadness is always there, but in time it turns to good memories that make me smile. In my mind I talk to them sometimes, because I trust they are still there, and hear me, even if I cannot hear their answer.

And then I move on and do my very best to appreciate the good things in my life. Because, after all, the mind is a strange thing... It concentrates on one thing at a time and while it does so, it is the only reality you "see". And the thoughts you think draw other thoughts like it to you. So think a thought of sadness, and more sad thoughts come to your mind.

This is why, if you realize you are feeling happy, and are having a happy moment, milk it! Go over the happy thing in your mind over and over again, concentrate on what it is that made you feel good, and continue this as long as you can. And suddenly other happy thoughts find you too.

You just have to be alert to realize those happy moments. Too many of us are so used to melancholy thoughts we don't notice the happy moments. They may even feel uncomfortable, because we are so used to the old way of thinking.

So it is work, to concentrate on good stuff, but gets easier every time you do it.

I wish you all the best, Hina, and hope you find a way to turn your sad memories about your friend into happy ones.

Leena :)

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