I have had a challenging few years. But my most difficult time has been the last 14 months. I slipped into a depression, but I never sort any help. I think if I did, they would diagnose we as manic depressive. I have always been the strong one, the positive one and my friends and family have been drawn to that. With the fear of letting anyone down, I decided to hide all my hurt and pain. Then I fell in love with the wrong guy and from there it was a downward spiral. To cut a long story short, I basically gave up on everything. Today I had a major break down. I felt I had no worth or reason to live anymore. I am not suicidal, only because I cannot imagine the pain I would inflict on those I love. But for myself? I had wished I would die.
I stumbled onto your website, as I searched for things to make me feel a little better. I didn't expect anything would but I figured it's worth a shot. To my surprise I did not only feel a little better, but I have seen how much I have deteriorated from the positive person I was. I fully identified with the "Words of Affirmation" story. I have beat myself down because of one bad relationship. I tried to change myself cause I felt not good enough. I cried (wailing... Literary crying out loud. Good thing I live by myself) I couldn't believe how much injustice I have had on myself. How ungrateful I have been. How heavy I weigh on my heart and mind. My whole attitude became like a snowball rolling and increasing in size. My clutter, my lack of teacher attitude, my feeding of the anger.... I could go on and on about everything I identified with but time is of essence here.
I am working on myself starting now. I'm free till Monday and so I will use these 3 days to get a jump start.
I just want to say THANK YOU. Thank you so much. The world is a better place because you are in it.
Love and Light!
Thank you so much for your kind words... I have been so busy with my studies and full time work lately I have not had time to write much. But I do intend to continue with uplifting stories once my dissertation in Egyptology is done.
You are so right that it is our own attitude that can bring us down - but then again it is the very same thing that can lift us up again. But negative feelings are not bad. They are simply a way to let us know what is it we do not like. And once we have this knowledge, we can concentrate of what is it that we DO like. And then turn that way - one step at a time. Every journey begins with one step.
I wish you all the best in your life - with such determination you will make it to a better feeling life. Just don't judge yourself for feeling bad at times, it is completely normal. Recognize the bad feeling, ask what would be the opposite of this that you would like - and then do anything that makes you feel better. Once feeling a bit better, take a step towards what you'd like. And then, rinse and repeat :)
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Below are the books I've written so far.
An illustrated children's book about the life and death of Tutankhamun. This book was chosen for the "King Tut - Treasures of the Golden Pharaoh" tour that travels the world (10 cities) starting in March 2018 (Los Angeles > Paris > London > Sydney)